(Mori)Bus Philosophorum: Bus Tips Part II (I Think)

It's time for another round (I think) of my practical, time-tested bus tips! Don't say I didn't warn you...

• Use $5. The new fare system allows you to put larger bills into the column. If you're purchasing a day pass with singles, you have to feed in four bills which, if they're not mint-crisp, will be spat back out at you (a la the snack machine) who knows how many times. Worse yet is trying to drop four dollars-worth of change. I've done it; it takes forever, and I don't recommend it. If you're determined to try, you'd better hope against hope that it isn't raining or cold out because the people queuing up behind you outside the bus will attempt to murder you with their eyes. Save yourself the trouble and use a five.
• The rule of bus windows states (scientifically) that a closed window may be opened, but, for some reason, an open window can never be closed. I know it's tempting to sit by an open window when you board a hot, sticky bus, but do your best to resist. Unless you like that windblown look.
• Always double check your seat. I can not tell you how many times I've left something behind on the bus: umbrellas, cell phones, wads of cash (not really, but if I had wads of cash I'd live in fear of that.) Each and every time I've pulled this little routine, I've felt in the pit of my stomach that I'm forgetting something, but neglected to double check. Even if you don't think you've dropped something, it doesn't hurt to take a second look. A few weeks ago I went to sit down and there was a wallet on the seat, which I scooped up and delivered to the bus driver. The next day the driver told me that the owner of the wallet had claimed it and had been astounded to find his big wad of cash still inside. If you leave your wallet behind, the person who finds it might not be as honest (dumb? I didn't even look inside) as I.